Sad. Dark. Morose. Abyss. Never-ending. Suffocating. Choking. Blinded. Passionate. Crazy. Itching. Punching. Love. Pain. Tears. Endless. Night. You. Me. Avoid. Ignore. Hurt. Silence. Time. Stop. Now.

Time

Time waits for NO MAN. Doesn't it, though? I mean, I look at all the Happy people in the world, Happy with a capital 'H'. They seem to be forever young. Almost as if Time is on Their side. And then you have everyone else in the world, the majority. We want to dance to the beat of our own drums and yet we complain when life doesn't go as we planned. Of course it doesn't go as we planned, we do not control Universe and its beat, Time. We're swept along with it and, because we insist on doing so miserably, Time seems to fleet past us. Why wouldn't it? Who wants to spend time with a miserable person? I guess the moral of today's ramblings is: Be happy. Fill your life with peace and joy and love and happiness and sunshine and butterflies and rainbows. Nigh impossible? Probably. But that doesn't mean I should stop reaching for it. Maybe then, Time may slow down just a wee bit so I can enjoy it more.

My Day

clackety-clack-clack. A scrape of a desk chair. The whoosh of air as the door swings open. The squeak of the couch as visitors converse upon it. The dripping water from the water dispenser that no longer offers cold, refreshing water. The aroma of Folgers coffee. The annoying melody of the telephone as it jangles the whole day through. The quiet hum of the computer. The muffled voices on either side of the wall as they go about their day. The occasional click of the mouse as it dances across the computer screen. The rustle of the papers as they are being organized into folders. The rumble of the rusted cabinets as they are opened to house more folders. The blinking telephone lines that never seem to tire.
This is what my day consists of now.

Reminiscing

Why do people constantly feel the need to reminisce? Why think of all the 'what ifs'? What good does that do us? I don't know, but I am personally guilty of this pastime. I love sitting back and just thinking of the good ol' days.

One particular memory I am fond of was when I got my first car. Oh, she was a beauty. A forest green Camry. I don't know what year it was. I remember sitting outside my high school building, in a hut built by the seniors a few years before us. I saw it driving into the parking lot, all shiny and new-looking. My friends and I oohed and aahed a bit. It parked. The windows were very heavily tinted, mind you. So you can imagine my surprise when my dad stepped out of the driver's side. I ran over immediately, squealing. He smiled as soon as he heard me running up behind him.

He had gotten the car as a graduation present for me. Well, I had to share it with the family every now and then, but I could drive it to school. What a delight! Of course, I dropped my siblings off right then and took my friends cruising. I will never love another car as I loved my first Camry.

allergies vs. sickness

A simple, annoying itch in the throat has now become a full-fledged disease. It ravages my throat every time I try to cough it out. It feels as if someone is taking their claws and ripping my throat to shred each time. My nose is confused. It doesn't know whether to drip or dry up and close up shop. I think that's why it's doing both at the same time. I have to keep tissue with me at all times. The skin around my nose has become red and raw with each swipe. My eyes are in constant watery mode. People think I'm weeping for my last days here at Southern. No. I'm just allergic to it.

Fear

She entered the room and slide her eyes over the students. Silence took over as they realized she was staring at them. Each student sat up straighter when her eyes focused on them. She took a step away from the entrance, her eyes still scanning the room. She marched toward her desk.One of the boys in the back began nervously drumming his pencil on his desk. Tap-tap-tap. Tap-tap-tap. Tap-tap-t--She she threw her penetrating gaze on him. He stopped mid-tap. She reached her desk and slammed her briefcase down on it. Silence again. Not even her perfect bun on her head twitched as she began scratching her name onto the blackboard. Her black business suit didn't have so much as a crease on it. Perfectly ironed. Her long red nails extended beyond the chalk and scratched the surface with every mark. The students cringed with each letter as it screeched onto the board.
Her task done, she spun around to face her class. She eyes them all, her eyes narrowing as she took them all in. No one dared return her gaze. They twiddled their thumbs and stared at the ceiling. The postures erect, their very beings belied their intimidated nature. They would do anything she asked them to. There was no doubt.
She barked out a page number. They scrambled to retrieve their textbooks and flipped nervously through them to find the page. She instructed them to read silently. She clasped her red-nailed claws behind her back and began her tormenting pace, up and down the aisles.

Beautiful Women

Before I discovered Disney princesses, I was in love with all the Bible princesses. My dad has a reference book entitled, "All the Women of the Bible." I was absolutely infatuated with it. I used to look up a woman and dream of what her life was like, back in the time of dashing heroes like David and Abraham. Abraham wasn't always old, you know. He had to have been the mysterious, handsome stranger who came and whisked Sarah away into their happily ever after. He just had to be.
Anyway, these princesses. In my mind, no one came close to their beauty. There was Eve, the mother of all beautiful women. Sarah. Rebeka. Ruth. Esther was the most beautiful one. I think if she were alive today, she'd beat out all our Miss Universe contestants, hands down.
I think what makes these women beautiful is not just the physical beauty that God blessed them with. It's the fact that they knew they were blessed and tried to live up to that blessing. It wasn't going to go unrequited. God gave beauty and He deserved something in return--their love and devotion. All these women loved and honored God. This became apparent in their outward beauty.
Disney princesses look out, there's a new group of beauties in town. They're here to stay.